The Wedding Industry Wasn’t Built for us - So We’re Helping Change It

Planning a wedding should be exciting. It should be about love, joy, and celebrating your relationship. But for many LGBTQ+ couples, the process comes with an extra layer of challenges - because the wedding industry, as it stands, wasn’t built with us in mind.

From the moment my fiancée and I started planning our wedding, being two woman in a lesbian relationship, we noticed it. The little assumptions, the awkward questions, the blank stares when vendors couldn’t quite compute that we were marrying each other. One of the standout moments being when we went to a wedding fair with two of our friends - a gay male couple - who were also getting married. Time and time again, people assumed we were marrying the men, not each other. They’d turn to me and say, “Oh, you must be marrying him,” while gesturing to our friend, completely bypassing the person I was actually planning to spend my life with. It wasn’t malicious, but it spoke volumes about how deeply ingrained the heteronormativity of the wedding industry is.

It’s not just wedding fairs. The number of times we’ve heard the question, “So, which one of you is getting married?”, from strangers who we mention marriage to, is staggering. When we say, “Both of us,” there’s often a moment of visible confusion before they piece it together. The wedding industry is still built around the idea that a wedding = one bride + one groom. Anything different than that is never someone's first assumption. 

Even outside of wedding-day planning, the challenges continue. Take honeymoons, for example. Most travel agents have a list of romantic destinations, but very few can confidently advise on which places are actually safe for LGBTQ+ people to travel. Too many of us have had to do our own research, scrolling through forums to work out if holding hands in public will put us at risk in our dream destination.

These experiences are frustrating, but they’re not unique. If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community planning your wedding and you’ve felt unseen, misgendered, or just not catered for - you’re not alone.

That’s why businesses like Queer Suits You exist - because we shouldn’t have to fight to be understood on what is meant to be one of the happiest journeys of our lives - because you deserve a wedding experience where you don’t have to explain yourself - and because this industry can do better.

Have you had a similar experience planning your wedding? Let’s talk about it. The more we share these stories, the more we push for change. I'll be writing another blog soon about what small moves suppliers can make to become more inclusive.

Roses are red and love is love